The His Most Benevolent Cakeness of Ebonhand is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Queen Myrcella I of House Baratheon with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, daily referendums, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 23.169 billion Ebonhandians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greywolfe. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Ebonhandian economy, worth a remarkable 7,305 trillion Denars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 315,302 Denars, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's holy places are littered with doughnut crumbs, motorway service stations often have a higher population than the hinterland villages that the roads lead to, the Velociraptor is a protected species, and torture is illegal. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Ebonhand's national animal is the Velociraptor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Griffinism.

Ebonhand is ranked 58,411^th in the world and 384^th in the South Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 74.26 on the Bus Surprisal Index.