The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, otherworldly petting zoo, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.657 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Administration and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 3.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,623 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 247,234 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, anti-vacs campaigners claim the government is inserting weird devices into their bodies, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it, and the national colors help to make everyone look slimmer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tepertopia's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 177,149^th in the world and 2,543^rd in the South Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 394.26 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.