The Republic of Etnon is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Peigi Åland with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, national health service, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.04 billion Etnonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santana. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Etnonian economy, worth 827 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 102,899 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes, the new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction, babies are a small but significant export, and cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etnon's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Etnon is ranked 329,760^th in the world and 894^th in Europe for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -17.02 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.