The Serene Republic of Triestine is a titanic, efficient nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and parental licensing program. The compassionate, democratic population of 21.421 billion Triestines have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cyeze. The average income tax rate is 89.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Triestini economy, worth a remarkable 2,611 trillion Kalls a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,905 Kalls, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Army doctors who come under attack defend themselves by using stethoscopes like nunchaku, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, the parliament building has installed a revolving door, and flipping a coin to make a decision leads to a referral to Gambling Addiction Services. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Triestine's national animal is the Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Triestine is ranked 8,649^th in the world and 151^st in the West Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 34.23 average smiles per day.