The Federal Republic of Fallgriffin is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Maj Gen Greogory Twilight with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, sprawling nuclear power plants, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 28.234 billion Fallgriffinians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of South NorthWest East Lawndale. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Fallgriffinian economy, worth an astonishing 11,911 trillion chromium kaegyds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 421,889 chromium kaegyds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Goldilocks has found a lucrative career as a zoning consultant, asylum seekers have voted Fallgriffin as best layover destination, politicians' smiles are legally considered a form of disaster relief, and corporations continue to displace native peoples off their land. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Fallgriffin's national animal is the Ferret, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Maj Gen Gregory Twilight warship.

Fallgriffin is ranked 331,957^th in the world and 2,669^th in the West Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -60.91 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.