The Grand Duchy of Bapaving is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Tupou I with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, lack of airports, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.865 billion Bapavingians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vaihitahi. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Bapavingian economy, worth a remarkable 1,867 trillion specks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 210,699 specks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events, throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem, clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies, and posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bapaving's national animal is the red-footed tortoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Christian Church of the East.

Bapaving is ranked 49,610^th in the world and 454^th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 5,395.89 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.