The フェデレーション of Nowa Europa is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Prezydent Iga Świątek with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 13.489 billion Nowa Europeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Silesia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Nowa Europan economy, worth a remarkable 4,814 trillion banknotes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 356,941 banknotes, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Television executives are interested in turning Prezydent Iga Świątek's zany home life into a sitcom, unused plastic recycling bins are being dumped into landfills by the tonne, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, and the government subsidises medicines of mass destruction. Crime is relatively low. Nowa Europa's national animal is the Water Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nowa Europa is ranked 239,566^th in the world and 4,068^th in the South Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.8 kickbacks per hour.