The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.826 billion Headpat Centralians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headpat City. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Headpat Centralian economy, worth a remarkable 1,576 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 230,909 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, and orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Headpat Central's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Headpat Central is ranked 1,341^st in the world and 38^th in The East Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 204,742.52 Standard Monetary Units.