The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its punitive income tax rates, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.337 billion Headpat Centralians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headpat City. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Headpat Centralian economy, worth a remarkable 1,437 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 226,771 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy, the government is ignoring the latest terrorist atrocities in Headpat City for fear of causing a fuss, and Leader panders to nontraditional families. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Headpat Central's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Headpat Central is ranked 996^th in the world and 26^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 154.41 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.