The Cheeks of La Xinga is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by big cheeks with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.547 billion cheek are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of hell. The average income tax rate is 84.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient cheek economy, worth 790 trillion hugs a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 120,749 hugs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Protests are prohibited from blocking traffic, popular sunny beaches always have a cloudy outlook, loudmouthed journalists are given the chop, and economists speak of trusting in the Tao of Free Market Capitalism. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. La Xinga's national animal is the cheek, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is who has that.

La Xinga is ranked 8,223^rd in the world and 199^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 104.92 law-abiding acts per hour.