by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 28thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 177th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Provost | Vizier
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population23.794 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.794 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,199 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 344,620 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 46,474th in the world and 2,210th in The East Pacific for Most Authoritarian, with 1,032.52 milliStalins.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 28thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 177thLargest Insurance Industry: 217thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 249thHighest Disposable Incomes: 418thLargest Agricultural Sector: 600thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 607thHighest Economic Output: 671stMost Corrupt Governments: 757thMost Influential: 793rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 799thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,065thHighest Average Incomes: 1,255thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,263rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,367thTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,231stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,377thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,417thLargest Black Market: 2,738thLargest Mining Sector: 2,844thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,170thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,244thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,401stMost Beautiful Environments: 3,549thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,782ndLargest Populations: 4,245thBest Weather: 5,661stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,144thFattest Citizens: 6,668thLargest Governments: 6,745thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,288thMost Secular: 8,584thTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,954thMost Efficient Economies: 16,116thLongest Average Lifespans: 18,736thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,493rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,820th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 9th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionMost Influential: 27th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 28th in the regionLargest Populations: 34th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 38th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 43rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 49th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 55th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 55th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 57th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 65th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 101st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 116th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 128th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 137th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 158th in the regionFattest Citizens: 159th in the regionLargest Governments: 173rd in the regionBest Weather: 184th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 223rd in the regionMost Secular: 308th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 388th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 428th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 518th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 553rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 583rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 622nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 655th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 763rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 849th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 435 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Tuvaltastan, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Morrowine, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Endertopias, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Eagas, The United Neo American Union, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Blobbo, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Libertanny, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, and 385 others.Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Asendavia, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Raunch, Bachtendekuppen, The American Free States, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Goral, Belora Gyles, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Yossito II, Rage Mage, Vaskeden, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, The Earth Systems Alliance, Arcady-Asclepia, Rohanland, Roissyland, Under Sea Desert, BuciLand, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Konouj, Liberstankonia, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Mercadir, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Osterreich und Ungarn, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Shavara, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, Zanottilandia, The Almighty Country, Pureian, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Alderaciea, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Kotawia, Federal Republic of Hetacia, West Akhzaristan, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Dracacre, Forgottan, Drunken Seal Islands, St Guilders Gate, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, New South Hope, Wizardonia, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, Danzink, The Solar Ottomans, Dark Edgyness, Kavel, Upper Ellisse, United Dirtpile, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, The Argos Federation, Sen Jast, Bysios, Adavan, New Mainz, Nossepachina, Lilisk, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Memeenstien, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Jyzeria, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Calbee, Broengtopia, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Adolanta, Kirmora, Bynzich, Slongs, Deertia, The New Tace, Packilvania, Chubaka, Raneve Brusertheatel, Omarci, Icelandic Imperium, Gemmena, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Antserso, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Deciduos, Martonica, Jamitri, Kadjaria, Hentaigoku, San Castillo, Gemlon, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Kristanya, Urimel, Ayaupia, Citergue, Holy Alasia Orozen, Solis Ortis, Centrical Union, Lantros, Neue Leipzig, Kucia, JohorRiau, Riveraland, Syriusz, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, New Terabithia, Soul Stream, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, EnderShnovia, Galve, Chriona, Werglum, God in the world, Bytes, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Guinea Meridional, Leedur-laand, BTProductions, Kingdom of Palau and other Constituents, Dominostra, Lipibo, The New Wisconsin Empire, Qampele, Anarchistani Anarchists, Deepcastle, Konneticut, Castle Federation, Tefror, Lemaoyeet, Gorbastan, Capave, Pledonia, Schrebia, Polenishia, Kianhua, Vannah, Gallisers, New Liberitad, Emerial, Dannemarie, Gyp Land, Federation of Knights, Tholder Etehal, Felsinki, Fauxevre, BattleCats, Savorca, The Cult of the Great Cthulhu, Halan Republic, Techny, Sedequia, Hizuru, British Calradia, New Maiya, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Teocallintzin, Islandian Free States, Kalis Harem, Gormhuth, Hadrian5, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Condo of Grick, The North American Republics, Zulkig, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Innovan, Conikslan, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Grindoligarch, Impaxia, Manutina, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, Wynberg, East Peatteo, Warren democracy, Forktoon, Pekweng, Isanastivia, Ornstein the Dragonslayer, Yuritoria, Quinto Piano, Djomb, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Durbur, Imprisoned Freeman, Minshu Shugi, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Amihan, Greater Emco Uns, Tri Lita, ArenaC, Kosmanza, Alabastian Royal Provinces, CANZUK 1, Technocratic Tagalog, Stellar Colonies, Modra, Hertogenbosch, Layngderfleethe, Grey Haven of Tauraucania, Debluu, Raiu East, United Order Republic, Ephem, Eternal Progress, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Teskyla, Monezambique, Flesh and the Power It Holds, Carolina Bay, Yelkinam, Empire of Dabiristan, Serfvarden, Ankras, Davedukili, The Islamic Republic of Africa, Greats Unified States, Oofery, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Reschaters, Khiralia, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Fahrul, Caltharus, Strudelia, Kanria, Urasimu wa Kati, Monix, Empire of Sock, Kavanos, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Horn of Havenkaap, Pyrchnia, Chols Worithopia, Vanzeria, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neverwinteer, Chrootangtonia, Alaskagrad, Nu Oceana, Oerkar, Neptunian Military Administration, Nevertopia, Platypus Islands, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Karatol-Advenra, Canakasa, Islan North, Molaro, Strelizia, Serkin, Lebarestan, Concentus, Free Nal Graakuo, Volinovia, Niveko, Brethren, Nyanhai, Helsucaniaion, Amabilis, Books Check Em Out, ParaSymmetry, Daenyearly, Axlor, Abadong, Astatian Shores, Lumpiadinavia, Geraet, Shragg, Gunov, Drac Romon, Sarfu, Hiflex, Venelaand, Altys, Amelia Island, The An Dynasty, Transoxiana-Tartaria, and Nord Hel.

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