by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 34thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 111thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 129th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Commissioner of EPPS | Vizier
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population24.563 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 24.563 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,445 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 343,820 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 1,297th in the world and 30th in The East Pacific for Highest Average Incomes, with 343,820.88 Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 34thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 111thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 129thLargest Insurance Industry: 214thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 242ndMost Influential: 304thHighest Disposable Incomes: 431stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 584thLargest Agricultural Sector: 633rdHighest Economic Output: 681stMost Corrupt Governments: 806thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 866thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,109thHighest Average Incomes: 1,297thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,324thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,484thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,657thLowest Crime Rates: 2,234thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,384thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,574thLargest Black Market: 2,824thLargest Mining Sector: 3,144thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,467thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,514thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,645thLargest Populations: 4,194thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,210thBest Weather: 5,533rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,673rdLargest Governments: 6,836thFattest Citizens: 7,069thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,111thMost Secular: 8,867thTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,383rdLongest Average Lifespans: 16,121stMost Efficient Economies: 17,455thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,839thLargest Information Technology Sector: 21,216th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Influential: 11th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 15th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 21st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 30th in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 39th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 42nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 50th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 62nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 63rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 72nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 74th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 76th in the regionTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 119th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 122nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 152nd in the regionBest Weather: 174th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 177th in the regionLargest Governments: 180th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 190th in the regionFattest Citizens: 201st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 222nd in the regionMost Secular: 316th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 405th in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 490th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 508th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 521st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 578th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 639th in the regionRudest Citizens: 676th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 841st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 856th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 871st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 511 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Eagas, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Libertanny, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, and 461 others.Aussiestan, Tretrid, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Belora Gyles, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, Roissyland, BuciLand, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Liberstankonia, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, West Akhzaristan, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Wizardonia, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, The Solar Ottomans, Dark Edgyness, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, New Mainz, Nossepachina, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, 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