by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 37thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 120thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 151st
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Eastern Pacific Police Service Commissioner | Vizier
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population25.009 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.009 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,562 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 342,390 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 3,427th in the world and 117th in The East Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,685.12 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 37thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 120thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 151stLargest Insurance Industry: 206thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 239thMost Influential: 309thHighest Disposable Incomes: 446thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 582ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 669thHighest Economic Output: 679thMost Corrupt Governments: 817thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 866thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,142ndHighest Average Incomes: 1,357thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,388thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,558thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,634thLowest Crime Rates: 2,252ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,401stTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,663rdLargest Black Market: 2,985thLargest Mining Sector: 3,237thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,427thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,811thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,860thLargest Populations: 4,181stBest Weather: 5,347thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,537thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,870thFattest Citizens: 6,966thLargest Governments: 7,011thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,018thMost Secular: 8,991stTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,351stLongest Average Lifespans: 16,155thMost Efficient Economies: 16,901stMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,811thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,986thHighest Drug Use: 24,052nd
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 15th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 22nd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 35th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 36th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 47th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 50th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 55th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 61st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 68th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 73rd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 84th in the regionLargest Black Market: 87th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 117th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 125th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 155th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 167th in the regionFattest Citizens: 168th in the regionBest Weather: 168th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 177th in the regionLargest Governments: 190th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 220th in the regionMost Secular: 315th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 385th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 418th in the regionRudest Citizens: 463rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 500th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 503rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 560th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 623rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 771st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 491 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, and 441 others.Staynes, Distro-Spartica, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, Roissyland, BuciLand, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Wizardonia, The Empire of Rijelv, The solar ottomans, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, New Mainz, Nossepachina, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, The New Tace, Packilvania, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Jamitri, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Riveraland, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, Werglum, Bytes, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Konneticut, Kianhua, Vannah, New Liberitad, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Hizuru, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Islandian Free States, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Impaxia, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, Pekweng, Ornstein the Dragonslayer, Yuritoria, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Imprisoned Freeman, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Greater Emco Uns, Tri Lita, ArenaC, CANZUK 1, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Monezambique, Yelkinam, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Strudelia, Kanria, Monix, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Chols Worithopia, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neptunian Military Administration, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Serkin, Concentus, Volinovia, Nyanhai, Daenyearly, Gunov, Wakeopolis, Republoslavia, Cyrillic Peoples, Forktoon, Hitaria, Norna Chitya, United States of Masbate, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Tissandra, Modra, New Bobby, Karatol-Advenra, Tawuse, Kunstistan, Wolemoer, Bundes Republic Deutschland, New Cobastheia, From New World, Albrook, Capave, United States of Calipon, Schelemeketew, Granskau, Pizza devil cat, Chalan, Rakshuland, Order of the saint Dumas, Neldas, Farangia, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Bialonia, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, An Unknown End, Universalius, The Armed Savages, West memes, Bjournson, Republic of New India, Faid, Moewland, The planet nation, Arunika, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Cellar Doors, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, Acronis, Aklevin, ParaSymmetry, Anarchica landia, Nevertopia, Beausylvana, The White Anderlandic Coast, The Great Andes, Lanwa, Pagodia, Danelaw Scandinavia, Gurtistania, Xylapan, The Cap Country, Liberal European Republic, West Swedania, Jonathan Schmidt, Busto arsizio2, Clarence-Voslage, Zeiberland, Rabarbarys, Vogar, Ze Noobalingas, Harpiatopia, Kilkire, Hellod Immury, Crucifer, Constervatania, Insolandie, Boooshi, New Terabithia, Blobbo, Asendavia, Crestillia, Kaldrbuth, JosheNation, Middle Pitburn, The Bedford Initiative, Sudarshan, Taapi, Juliania Secundus, Arasakami, Kihara, The Anarchisticly Lost Canadian North, Rocie, Later Goryeo, Beemunism, Kylah, Auranoria, THE V0ID, Lakku, Mayapada, Straight Union, Cheriana, Devlon, United Socialist States of Amerika, Communist Angmar, Lorrana, Endertopias, Pledonia, North Bernia, Adolanta, Nordic Eurasia, Tofoon, Kyalgray, Abacas, Cryria, United Arab Islamic, Cisdaniria, Isahaak, Federation Of Columbian Republics, Eisenhund, THE Ophelia OF SYA, Muricia, Zukish, Saarsilili, Plaines, Hel Rock, Kasai del Sur, BetterJillTown, LibRight Libertarianism, Anfair, Mid-Land, Zidium, Bekhaulochin, Kurkmenistan, Eastern Alksearia, Avartaka, Spadaus, Meerkat Land, Wolframberg, New Brittannion-Rome, Capitalist Golborne, Shava Pythe, Fuflix workers union, Los Juan, Dahom, Developing World, Under Upper Antartica, Saladass, The Oan Isles, Severuslavia, Eldi, Ultravisionary Soviets, Great Algerstonia, Martian States of America, Hogwarts of muggles, Cakitalim, OgJoker, Jove Mahmo, Bradion, Hobbesistan, Macaco Forte, Arcarum, Akorial, Sapre, Can Badia, American-Cascadia, Pernoss, Spicy-A Meatball, Argentianworkslasia, Yaceistan, Johor DT, Oeconomicae, Retreat, Shavara, Obridles, Zwen, Cvetopia, Pacifist Cowards, Espeon LD, Carates, The Kulaata Islands, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Blobon, Biingus, North Ginger, Vizh, Cafe Hell, Zahrontrizzlestan, Greater Novast, Cannock Islands, Kendow, Soleil8, Loritto, Picklonia, Khindu, La Isla Nueva, Nevretha, Kazakistania, Heatherspike, Marimazima, Reagonomics, Danares, Olyumpus, Catlovenia, South Madeline, Baguette Commune, Abadong, Barbadians, Pirnovo, North Joutiland, Generic Isle, Lueva, Alcasia, Solek, Eagas, The Sanguine Hand, La Republica Granadina, Indonesia Soekarnoisme, The Wreckage Remnants, Technocratic Tagalog, Liwanagan, YSG Hermitcraft, BowPen, PowaKokka, Verdiente Heimatlander, Celannica, Myehn, New Era states, Preat, Big liver, Sicilianzo, Vessarlian, Krommenland, Eumania, Awestre Gorend, Colyn, ShahdomOirdemAerdwid, Saint Richelieu, Saint Marmero, WoodFinch, Xestreassau, Eagle Crest, Molaro, and Robiene.

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