by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 85thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 115thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 119th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Minister of Foreign Affairs
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Map Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population36.704 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, enslaved workforce, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.704 billion geriatrics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Environment, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 12,479 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 339,994 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 9,907th in the world and 200th in The East Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 17.78 Obesity Rate.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 85thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 115thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 119thLargest Insurance Industry: 161stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 205thHighest Disposable Incomes: 475thHighest Economic Output: 671stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 727thMost Influential: 775thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 874thHighest Average Incomes: 2,021stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,039thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,415thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,423rdMost Beautiful Environments: 2,573rdLargest Populations: 2,850thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,048thTop
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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,263rdLowest Crime Rates: 3,345thBest Weather: 3,430thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,562ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,573rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,277thLargest Black Market: 5,565thLargest Mining Sector: 5,597thLargest Governments: 7,611thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,238thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8,687thMost Secular: 8,797thMost Ignorant Citizens: 9,454thFattest Citizens: 9,907thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,201stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10,461stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,142ndLongest Average Lifespans: 14,282ndMost Patriotic: 15,182ndTop
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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 17,618thMost Valuable International Artwork: 18,453rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 27,541st
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Most Influential: 2nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 8th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 12th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21st in the regionLargest Populations: 22nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 25th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 26th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 26th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 33rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 36th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 38th in the regionTop
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Largest Black Market: 48th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 62nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 66th in the regionMost Patriotic: 77th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 82nd in the regionBest Weather: 98th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 103rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 114th in the regionLargest Governments: 158th in the regionMost Secular: 183rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 184th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 185th in the regionFattest Citizens: 200th in the regionTop
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Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 231st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 266th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 276th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 302nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 372nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 379th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 384th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 396th in the region
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Endorsements Received: 301 » Todd McCloud, Plazland, Kelssek, ReeK, Headpat Central, Iodinia, Enlil, Amjedia, Unger under over, Abtracnt, Talitoa, Axdel, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Peatiktist, Elejamie, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Lyontisia, Drunken Seal Islands, Harro Waarudho, Propwash, Packilvania, Kyrtizhan, Kublam, Lantros, Kucia, Southern Yugoslavia, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Pekweng, Mundiferrum, Stellar Colonies, CheeseBurrito, Kriov, Capave, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ad Honorem Dei, and 251 others.Blobbo, Adolanta, Under Upper Antartica, Myehn, Sansangra, Caymarnia, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, The Soviet Texas Union, Verconia, Goodnamesarerare, AuthRight Authoritarianism, Pakitsk, Kurikia, Adinesi, Amabilis, Estande, Atrocha, Anthonyland, Santa Dystopia, United Citizens, New Gehenna, Romanoddle Republic, Emberwood Coast, Rainbow Vests, Sea Lions, New Garokirk, Jankono, Vaskeden, Azosd, Akimera, Pondingonia, Catistania, Grod Dratia, La Xinga, Roissyland, Terrabis-Seran, Royabad, Froppill, Troc, Evrigenis, Resaaria, The Nightmare and Dreams, Hunterdon, The Holy Caltro, Chinesasia, Priti Purple Wonderland, Haltyas, Island Revildor, Marrabuk, H-Zhena, Themyscyra, New Birblands, Philville2, Anglost, Crawlisle, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Cameronia Excellentia, Toala, Matika, Conqerica, Zukchiva, Evdon, Qpebanda, Afrikaner South Africa, Sarkos, Sevleria, AngusEssa, Free State II, Kavanos, Isualia, Cornholiolands, Washingtonian Order, Ladonatalacton, Limboese, FreedomIand, Solinarien, The Clockwork Multiverse, Republic of Priouthia, Angle Land, Treetonis, Soloriania, Leore, Chakara, Anctraziania, Forgawik, Calabo, McAncapistan, Snrubton, Duracell, Sha La La Land, Enou, New Northwall, Saint Saul and Shirley, Hashidi, Clarence-Voslage, Japan Countryhuman, Glassland, Compton-Conway, Hyenaton, Comeradia, Ubecc, Untermite, Mujistan, Oothiteria, Ridann, Bharatvarshey, Quegantordia, Mildo Tuh, Veretanasta, Tretrid, Allinburg, Brethren, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Siaram, The United Menali Confederation, The Oan Isles, Zantiom, Nunyeh, Kelbadan, King of Urbino, Hatzelia, Hansa Rostock, Britz Colo Zirsong, The United States of AfroEurasia, Schwielangen, A Slanted Black Stripe, Holy Ary Toko, Waldenes, United Order Republic, Kalaratri, Hexatombe, Jistorburg, Singapore3, Big Pennieginnieginnie, Carsama, Kluchassia, Federal Russian Republics, Piosia, Fish Republic, New Vedlar, Groznygrad, Azirtan, Gemma aeterna, ACRONYMs, Uor-ii, Aduain, Solemn Son, West Nagato, Kanluna, Rejoltance, Darorska, Holy Nazareth, Marnack Confederacy, Aurelia Federation, NewImperia, Hardyism, Creekscale, Talvezout, Karietown, TayLos, Henren, Jeastoleg, Naviun, Maggriststan, Silvaterra, Pacifist Cowards, Furigard, Framtithvoor-Altijd, Flers-Douai, Indiria, Roano, Jamayqua, Iconoclassism, Marexi, South Pollana, Debluu, Heletica, The Serentian State, Dorles, Lucklife, The Arvanites of Epirus, Husseberg, Allah Szabad Akarata, Gaia Eternium, New Domais, The Gashouk Peninsula, Hiltavia, Northern Bain, Technocratic Israel, DaWu, Weird Neurodivergent Queers, New Cat Reg, Mateussino, IslandKush, Oradell, Viktrovia, Ardakoth, Quirin, Bongiya, Dremaur, Saurlandia, Salboa, Deorangg, Prylixian, TyBigistan, Merlovich, Mountain Rime, Novogardia, Lionsroar, Tea Jol, Waterfall State, Golubyacha Gromada, Inner Vilkiand, Ocean Waters, The North sea empire and vinland, Allied States of Osea, TeleNdanda, Mallardias, Oheia, Tsilinthy, Parisimo, Anarchia-Freedomia, Matte Perdit, Tajah, NorthernStar, Femdeutschland, Krillopia, Car Tamder, The Marlands, The Supersteses, Asendavia, Leatern Narth, Shang-Zu, Decaf Coffee, Kezeun, Nachshona, Neuroma Basilea, Ferreism, Awesome Lesbianland, Sloverbia, Furry Paw Beans, 10 Wicked Wings Please, AnnaK, Federal Republic of the United States, The new Germanic Confederation, Dharmkshetra, Saint Berad, Maha Yantra, Confederated States of Nebulon, and Garfield Republics.

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