The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, zero percent divorce rate, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.541 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Healthcare, Industry, and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 10,960 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 347,492 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 2,938^th in the world and 69^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 131.14 law-abiding acts per hour.