by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 114thLargest Insurance Industry: 205th
The Weed-choked lawn of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Squire
Provost
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population23.387 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-choked lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, strictly enforced bedtime, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.387 billion geriatrics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Social Policy and Education receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,081 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,541 colostomy bags, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,885,538 per year while the poor average 32,433, a ratio of 58.1 to 1.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 1,239th in the world and 26th in The East Pacific for Highest Average Incomes, with 345,541.1 Standard Monetary Units.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 114thLargest Insurance Industry: 205thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 250thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 310thHighest Disposable Incomes: 416thLargest Agricultural Sector: 568thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 597thHighest Economic Output: 671stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 687thMost Corrupt Governments: 710thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 722ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,035thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,226thHighest Average Incomes: 1,239thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,286thTop
5%
Most Influential: 2,098thLowest Crime Rates: 2,320thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,396thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,421stLargest Mining Sector: 2,677thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,706thLargest Black Market: 2,901stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,996thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,761stLargest Populations: 4,253rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,856thBest Weather: 6,338thFattest Citizens: 6,725thLargest Governments: 6,815thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,043rdMost Secular: 8,381stTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,074thMost Efficient Economies: 15,107thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 15,667thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,872ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,207th
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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 9th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 12th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 20th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 24th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 26th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 29th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Populations: 34th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 35th in the regionLargest Black Market: 46th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 50th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 60th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 66th in the regionTop
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Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 106th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 110th in the regionMost Influential: 116th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 125th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 141st in the regionLargest Governments: 166th in the regionBest Weather: 182nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 182nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 239th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 260th in the regionMost Secular: 299th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 376th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 400th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Drug Use: 510th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 523rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 579th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 741st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 805th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 806th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 821st in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 337 » Brotherland, Evrigenis, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Tuvaltastan, Acronis, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Habsburg-Lorriane, Arkantis, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Morrowine, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, CheeseBurrito, Servants of Gizmo, Endertopias, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Stumptopia, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Brethren, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, Abadong, H-Zhena, Eagas, Kario and Nix, AngusEssa, NewBorns333, The United Neo American Union, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Nifalembria Zamingstan, and 287 others.Blobbo, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, Libertanny, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Modra, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Vultuca, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Asendavia, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, The Big Brain Boys, Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Raunch, Bachtendekuppen, The American Free States, Of Centralist Brexit, Coruh, Amabilis, Technocratic Tagalog, New Leganes, Scostien, Ripsylvania, I-America-I, Goral, Belora Gyles, Virgoliaendorses, The Three States of Fortuna, Peoples Republic of GG, Khadah, Yossito II, RealDealGG1, ParaSymmetry, Aivintis, Rage Mage, Vaskeden, Oofery, Woodsind, Tseriesiscoming, Meagharia, Mays Austrian Nation, The Earth Systems Alliance, Sokala, Arcady-Asclepia, Rohanland, Roissyland, Under Sea Desert, BuciLand, Sycona, Grey Haven of Tauraucania, Filipopol, Equatannia, Flench, Halaethaed Commune, West Nagato, Konouj, Liberstankonia, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Forro Islands, Arkalarius, Kazukiyama, Aeljae, Puelo, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Mercadir, Mamoru, Jakubonia, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Osterreich und Ungarn, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Stellar Colonies, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Shavara, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Calmarya, New Amerindia, XK-Class, Korktopia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, Zanottilandia, Order of the saint Dumas, Phaialee, The Almighty Country, Pureian, Luisagna, Republic of Berzerkistan, Alderaciea, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Dratava, Kanadeer, Sheelberite, Firenation91, SecularNorth, Lundenia, Didusland, Kotawia, Federal Republic of Hetacia, West Akhzaristan, Lyontisia, Debluu, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Rythawelerzi, Dracacre, Loyalists Rebel, Forgottan, Drunken Seal Islands, St Guilders Gate, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, Vishwa, Army of Chaos, New South Hope, Wizardonia, Lostwill, The Eternal Land of Jong, The Empire of Rijelv, Danzink, Washingtonian Order, New Pontiac, The Solar Ottomans, The Jamlandias, Dark Edgyness, Kavel, Upper Ellisse, United Dirtpile, New Ailartsua, Social Anarchist State, Harro Waarudho, The Romanum Legio, The Argos Federation, Sen Jast, Bysios, Adavan, New Mainz, Qui sequuntur somnia, Nossepachina, Lilisk, Sancta Pannonia, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Memeenstien, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Terra Occulus, Junnow, Royal Myanmar, Am Echad, Jyzeria, Duracell, ArenaC, Federated States of Zootron, Calbee, Broengtopia, Propwash, Teddington, Rhealaliit, Adolanta, Kirmora, Bynzich, Mvannia, Slongs, Deertia, Ska Hydorordia, The New Tace, Packilvania, Chubaka, Worthless Miracles, Raneve Brusertheatel, Omarci, United Altancian, Icelandic Imperium, Gemmena, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, Sansangra, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Layngderfleethe, Kyrtizhan, Antserso, Trulu, Monix, Biggstonia, Enou, Skooptropia, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, Lepinja, CopyCato, Izonno, Merkez, Deciduos, Martonica, Jamitri, Tesseratum, Kadjaria, Hentaigoku, Chols Worithopia, San Castillo, Gemlon, Quebec-and-Maritimes, Kristanya, Urimel, Ayaupia, Citergue, Holy Alasia Orozen, Solis Ortis, Centrical Union, Lantros, Neue Leipzig, Bermadia, Kucia, VernKhalla, Iove, JohorRiau, Mensv2, Riveraland, Syriusz, Celiost, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Yasosahan, LINAM, Noreds Thereneuthene, New Terabithia, Soul Stream, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, EnderShnovia, Galve, West Allastivina, Chriona, Werglum, God in the world, Bytes, Swiftwhiskers, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Great Babylon Empire, Joundia, and Refuge Isle.

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