The Union State of Greater Bahland is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Andrew with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 5.23 billion Bahlandians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Layshill. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Bahlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,003 trillion Geld-Shards a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 191,838 Geld-Shards, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,053,694 per year while the poor average 17,752, a ratio of 59.4 to 1.

New "Commiserations! It's An Accident!" greetings cards for expectant mothers are selling surprisingly quickly, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, and the government's new 'Crime Can Fight Itself' policy appears to be backfiring rather badly. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Greater Bahland's national animal is the lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Greater Bahland is ranked 9,638^th in the world and 68^th in Europe for Most Corrupt Governments, with 158.5 kickbacks per hour.