The Socialist Commonwealth of Kelssek is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Prime Minister with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, daily referendums, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 35.144 billion Kelsseks hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neorvins. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The powerhouse Kelssekian economy, worth a remarkable 4,366 trillion thalers a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 124,250 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Prime Minister can often be seen hanging around playgrounds chatting with the kids, incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables, it is technically inaccurate to call the dead 'worm food', and lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelssek's national animal is the polar bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kelssek is ranked 182,996^th in the world and 8,081^st in The East Pacific for Largest Mining Sector, scoring -30.95 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.