The Caliphate of Packilvania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Noi with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 46.284 billion Packilvanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hikaruton. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Packilvanian economy, worth an astonishing 13,852 trillion Packels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 299,292 Packels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, citizens wouldn't recognise Noi if they passed one another on the street, children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again, and the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Packilvania's national animal is the Arkane, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Packilvania is ranked 240,658^th in the world and 3,404^th in The East Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 7.82 Obesity Rate.