The Democratic Republic of New Bulacan is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by President Martin Moreno-Quisumbing with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, otherworldly petting zoo, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 9.416 billion New Bulacanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Malolos City. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient New Bulacanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,783 trillion New Bulacanian Pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,367 New Bulacanian Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's nothing more New Bulacanian than revanchism, the tools of the trade for landmine clearance appear to be copious amounts of gasoline and a box of matches, foreign ambassadors closely guard their culinary secrets, and tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Bulacan's national animal is the New Bulacanian Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

New Bulacan is ranked 6,487^th in the world and 165^th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 93.17 on the Human Development Index.