The People's Republic of Parkintopia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sunni Fa'asavalu with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.077 billion Parkintopians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The thriving Parkintopian economy, worth 325 trillion Sables a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 105,776 Sables, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The clock on unfettered access to social media is ticking, going on a diet invalidates your passport, badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game, and every school is receiving a brand new eraser. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Parkintopia's national animal is the Llama, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Parkintopia is ranked 13,348^th in the world and 317^th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 83.26 quips per hour.