The Unorthodox States of Massattack is a massive, safe nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 2.238 billion Massattackians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal government prioritizes Administration, with Education, Industry, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heligoland. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.1%.

The all-consuming Massattackian economy, worth 204 trillion komas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 91,212 komas, with the richest citizens earning 9.9 times as much as the poorest.

Commercial pop radio occasionally features raccoon birthing sounds, veterans are directed into environmental cleanup operations, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, and museum visitors often bring lemons and black lights. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Massattack's national animal is the Black Stag Beetle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Massattack is ranked 69,601^st in the world and 897^th in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 237.35 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.