The Republic of Ohiyo is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by John Brown with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, prohibition of alcohol, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 8.03 billion Ohiyans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Canton. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Ohiyan economy, worth a remarkable 2,237 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 278,600 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, and sometimes a whole prison wing will house a single prisoner. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ohiyo's national animal is the bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ohiyo is ranked 46,459^th in the world and 592^nd in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 4,728.15 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.