The Armed Republic of NewImperia is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by High Honorable Sad Onion with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.712 billion New Imperians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Imperial City. The average income tax rate is 77.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Imperian economy, worth 838 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 108,704 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government terminates employment with extreme prejudice, harassed women are constantly hassled by guys who are "just giving them compliments", the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge, and serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. NewImperia's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Imperialism.

NewImperia is ranked 228,406^th in the world and 3,267^th in The East Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 8.41 Obesity Rate.