The Commonwealth of Orcassia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Gardner with an even hand, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 3.943 billion Orcassians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Douglas. The average income tax rate is 77.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Orcassian economy, worth 466 trillion Slones a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 118,253 Slones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, kids loitering near lawns has been declared a national emergency, the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, and the Douglas Pride Parade's head banner explains how unionizing is heteronormative. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Orcassia's national animal is the Marmot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Orcassia is ranked 14,048^th in the world and 482^nd in The North Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 4,269.37 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.