The United Tribes of Petea is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Arii Nui Tuʻāmui II with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 9.502 billion Pētea enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pūtaputapu. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 71.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Pētea economy, worth a remarkable 1,514 trillion Tāras a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 159,362 Tāras, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 481,688 per year while the poor average 41,051, a ratio of 11.7 to 1.

Lobotomies haven't been the same after the practice was severed, passengers often cause a stink on public transport, foreigners "adopt" rotund Tropicbirds to line the pockets of wildlife sanctuaries, and the country is preparing for war. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Petea's national animal is the Tropicbird, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pētea Animism.

Petea is ranked 3,545^th in the world and 88^th in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 193 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.