The Federal Republic of Crustoria is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Den with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, zero percent divorce rate, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 6.428 billion Crustorians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Crustorian economy, worth 974 trillion Crusts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 151,552 Crusts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People with dyslexia are told to tough through it, Crustorian tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode, sweat stains are proof of political acumen, and people with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia faint upon diagnosis. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crustoria's national animal is the Brotadler, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Crustoria is ranked 219,023^rd in the world and 3,146^th in The North Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring zero on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.