The United Socialist States of Span is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by M Shobacus Maz with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 38.131 billion Spanners hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maz. The average income tax rate is 85.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Spanner economy, worth a remarkable 9,848 trillion spannies a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Trout Farming. Average income is an amazing 258,270 spannies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace, the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches, and small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. Crime is totally unknown. Span's national animal is the donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Span is ranked 3,776^th in the world and 91^st in The North Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 8,482.33 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.