The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Montebad II with an even hand, and remarkable for its fear of technology, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 15.291 billion Merconites are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded morass — is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Environment, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Merconite economy, worth a remarkable 6,601 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 431,718 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school, both injustice and force-feeding are sticking in the craw of hunger-striking suffragettes, and sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Islam.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 14^th in the world and 1^st in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 1,154.21 on the Scary Big Number Scale.