The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Mansebat II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 28.495 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Environment, and Law & Order also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 16,781 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 588,939 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", foreign nations kill migratory animals at random in the hope that Merconitonitopia will pay them to stop, street cleaners are noticeably glum during jubilee celebrations, and government policy is dictated by Christianity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 29^th in the world and 3^rd in The North Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 49,179.37 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.